Tomorrow I’ll preach a message entitled, “How To Graciously Deal With Difficult People.” I mentioned it in a tweet a couple days ago and have had some interesting responses.
“This is basically every day in the ER”Jesus began His “Sermon on the Mount” (Matt 5-7) by identifying the kinds of changes that are necessary within a person in order to live a “Kingdom” lifestyle. In fact, the whole point of chapter 5 is that a follower of Christ is one who has been so transformed within that it shows on the outside…in his or her lifestyle.
“This will be very useful, thank you for sharing a sneak peek at this Sunday’s Word.”
“My struggle is that most of my personal stories with difficult people involve the people I’m preaching to.”
“Post that one on YouTube. We all could use this one.”
“My pastor just asked us to deal with that in Women’s Ministries this year – conflict resolution and marriage.”
“Uh oh, looks like you got me again…Do you have ESP or what? Your messages seem to be directed at me specifically."
“I know that your message tomorrow is on dealing with difficult people. I hope that it also speaks the truth about what to do if you are the difficult person. I have been reading the proverbs lately and am very convicted...”
Chapter 6 then proceeds to identify the many ways we artificially substitute religious activities for the genuine marks of one who has a personal relationship with God. Jesus calls this well intentioned effort “hypocrisy.”
Then, Chapter 7 deals with our relationships with other people. As I’ve been studying Matthew 7:7-12 I was amazed at how easily I have taken a passage that deals with relationships and simply made it another passage on prayer. What a difference the passage on “asking…seeking…knocking” makes when it’s application has to do with our relationships with others…especially with Difficult People.
Without going into a lot of detail about tomorrow’s message (you can listen online) here’s a couple important biblical tips on dealing with difficult people that I’ll go into much more detail in my message.
1. It requires God’s grace to deal graciously with difficult people. John put it this way, “If we love one another, God abides in us and His love is perfected in us.” (1 John 4:12) You and I don’t have what it takes to love someone unconditionally without first allowing unconditional love to dwell within us.
2. It requires a denial of self to put up with and deal proactively, and redemptively, with difficult people. Matthew put it this way, “Therefore, whatever you want others to do for you, do also the same for them-this is the Law and the Prophets.” (Matt 7:12) Let me put it to you this way, “How do you want others to treat you when you are being difficult?” We tend to treat people the way they deserve to be treated, not the way we’d want to be treated when we are being difficult.
Apparently everybody is dealing with difficult people. Is it possible that we are the difficult people that others are complaining about? Sounds like the “log in your eye” and “speck in their eye” principle again. Ouch!
More later.
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