My seminary evangelism professor, Oscar Thompson, said the most important word in the English language is “RELATIONSHIP.” I couldn’t agree more.
Unfortunately, relationships are so very fragile and so often taken for granted. And we let the little things that bother us in a relationship become the poison that ultimately can destroy the very relationships we have cherished.
I recently did some research and spoke on the devious and destructive nature of jealousy and how it kills relationships. I talked about the subtleties of how a jealous heart is developed. It was illustrated by the relationship between King Saul and David, the Goliath killer (1 Samuel 17:31-19:1).
I thought some of you who read this blog would be interested in the bottom line of my message – the cure for jealousy.
Rather than go into the dirty details of how jealousy destroys a relationship (you can always go to our church website and listen to the message if you want that), I thought I’d pass on in this blog the prescriptive cure for jealousy. Be sure to notice how the cure has nothing to do with others until you first deal with your own heart and God’s plan for your life.
The Cure for a Jealous Heart
1. Admit you are jealous. Stop pretending you’re not.
James 3:14 (TLB) “And by all means don’t brag about being wise and good if you are bitter and jealous and selfish; that is the worst sort of lie.”
2. Stop comparing yourself to others. You’ve been uniquely designed by God. Start acting like it.
Galatians 6:4 (MSG) “Make a careful exploration of who you are and the work you have been given, and then sink yourself into that. Don't be impressed with yourself. Don't compare yourself with others.”
3. Thank God for what you already have. Get specific in your gratitude.
1 Thessalonians 5:18 (HCSB) “Give thanks in everything, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”
4. Recommit yourself to God’s plan for YOUR life.
Romans 12:1 (HCSB) “Therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, I urge you to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God; this is your spiritual worship.”
5. Let God to use you to help others succeed. This forces you to reject the goals of a jealous heart.
Galatians 5:13-15 (HCSB) “For you are called to freedom, brothers; only don’t use this freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but serve one another through love.”
6. Trust God with the results. Even if it means someone else gets what you were wanting.
Romans 8:28 (HCSB) “We know that all things work together for the good of those who love God: those who are called according to His purpose.”
How to talk to God about your jealousy:
“Dear God, You have told me that I am uniquely made by you and precious in your sight. I am unworthy to be loved by you but You have chosen to love me anyway. Plus, you proved it by sending Your Son, Jesus Christ, to die for me even when I didn’t care about You. Help me to stop comparing myself to others who are also loved by You. Help me to appreciate their role in teaching me to trust You and to hold all I have with an open hand. Please forgive me for being so possessive of what I have and transform my jealous passions into a willingness to serve others. Also, please teach me to trust You with the results.”
Entering into a personal and intimate relationship with Jesus Christ is really not that difficult. That’s because you were made by God, for God. It is His desire that you and I know Him intimately. John 17:3 even defines eternal life relationally rather than numerically. It says,
“This is eternal life: that they may know You, the only true God, and the One You have sent—Jesus Christ.”
The excitement and joy you experience when entering into this kind of relationship is undeniable. New Christians are so refreshing to be around for that very reason. The passion and lifestyle associated with a life in relationship with Jesus Christ is contagious. But isn’t it amazing how quickly we will judge this kind of experience and outward demonstration as evidence of immaturity or shallowness…especially when we haven’t felt that way for quite some time?
Instead of pursuing God we begin to pursue spiritual knowledge. In our quest to go deeper and know Him more intimately we often substitute the critical elements of a relationship with God for simply the facts about God. In my conversations with others, I find this to be typical of everyone’s experience including my own. I personally find it as easy as triggering a cruise control button on my car's steering wheel. After I hit the button, I’m still heading in what appears to be the same direction but find my heart and passion for God becoming incrementally a bit cooler and harder. I'm not as focused as I was after I push the button.
A. W. Tozer said,
“We have substituted theological ideas for an arresting encounter; we are full of religious notions, but our great weakness is that for our hearts there is no one there…The spiritual giants of old were men who at some time became acutely conscious of the real Presence of God and maintained that consciousness for the rest of their lives.” (God’s Pursuit of Man)
Can I make a suggestion?
Today, in your pursuit of God, go beyond a simple knowledge of the facts.
- Ask God to make you sensitive to His presence.
- Take time to listen to God.
- Look for His fingerprints and activity all around you.
- Let the facts about God that you glean from the Scriptures trigger a pursuit of God.
- Choose to relate to God rather than simply be content with more information about God.
Then, at the end of the day, jot down what you saw and learned. Thank God for revealing Himself and ask Him again for "eyes to see and ears to hear" Him again. You won't regret it. I know I won't. Labels: knowledge, maturity, passion, relationships
We're back from a day long excursion to Petra. Wow, what a sight. Recently a poll was taken concerning an up-to-date "7 Greatest Wonders of the World" and Petra was voted 2nd. 1st place was the Great Wall of China. I can see why. It's gigantic, beautiful, and amazing.
We had to walk about 2 miles to get to it through a long canyon but it was certainly worth it. One things for sure, everyone will sleep good tonight. (For those of you still wondering what this place looks like, it's the place Indiana Jones went to find the holy grail in his third movie, "The Last Crusade".)
Petra is a city that was known for its security and its remote and hidden location. From a biblical perspective it is known for primarily three things:
1. A place where the Jews will flee persecution in the last days.
2. A city on route to the Promised Land when Moses led the Israelites out of Egypt.
3. It is right next to Mt. Hor, where Aaron (Moses brother) died.
A few personal observations I had were:
1. It's amazing how the Bedouin people live with next to nothing in this region and yet act as though they have everything. They don't even know they are poor. Contrast that with how we live with everything and so often think and behave like we have nothing. Maybe we could learn something here. Why do we let things so determine whether we are happy or contented?
2. The city was lost for so many years after the great earthquake in 363 AD. It was only rediscovered in 1812. How in the world does a city of 25 square miles vanish? In the same way people do when we get so preoccupied with our own little worlds. I need to make sure I pay attention to the people God puts in my life and not let the "earthquakes" or "life changes" of my life distract me from what is most important. Jesus said the second greatest command was, "to love my neighbor as myself." He was saying that personal relationships must be priority.
One last note:
One man in our group, Gerry, had to miss today's travels due to a stomach problem. I saw him when we returned at dinner and he reported that he is feeling much better and will be ready to get back on track tomorrow. Keep on praying for Gerry and the rest of the crew. It's making a difference.
One other note:
For those of you who are camel riders. I'm impressed. After today, I'm amazed that anyone can ride one and keep their balance, much less just get up on one. A number of our folks tried riding a camel today...everyone stayed on but many close calls.
Jesus said the second greatest commandment was "to love your neighbor as yourself." He prioritizes our relationships with people above everything else except our relationship with God; which happens to be the greatest commandment.
Some people are lovable and some are not. But our love for people cannot, and should not, be dependent upon whether they are lovable. Love is not to be a response to someone who makes you feel good. Love is so much more than a feeling or returning a favor.
We live in a culture that pressures us to see love as simply a feeling to be experienced and to be paid back. That's one reason why people can so quickly "fall out of" or "fall into" love. It's all based on the emotion of the moment.
But, the biblical definition of love is not dependent on your feelings but rather on your decisions. 1 Corinthians 13 is not a list of feelings you hope to have but rather a list of choices you must make. You are not powerless when it comes to loving others.
I've put together a check list of these choices and hope they help you, as they have me, to better "love one another."
LOVE CHECKLIST:
1. Love gives in to the inclination to forgive. ("love suffers long" - 1 Cor 13:4)
2. Love meets the needs of others. ("love is kind" - 1 Cor 13:4)
3. Love helps others to succeed even if it costs you personally. ("love does not envy" - 1 Cor 13:4)
4. Love refuses personal recognition that puts down others. ("does not parade itself" - 1 Cor 13:4)
5. Love is honest and humble. ("is not puffed up" - 1 Cor 13:4)
6. Love chooses behavior in consideration of others. ("does not behave rudely" - 1 Cor 13:5)
7. Love looks for ways to bless others. ("does not seek it's own" - 1 Cor 13:5
8. Love does not look for a fight. ("is not provoked" - 1 Cor 13:5
To Be Continued.
Did you know? Albert Einstein said, "My passionate sense of social justice and social responsibility has always contrasted oddly with my pronounced lack of need for direct contact with other human beings and human communities."
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